Taking a break..............
We talked about it. The nurse practioner suggested it before I could even bring it up. I know it's the right thing to do. Why do I suddenly feel so empty inside?
I'm coming off my first cycle with Clomid. I have read all the reports that you can't take Clomid for too long or it will start to actually make you even less fertile. I've seen the countless signatures of other ladies with PCOS who have been on round after round of Clomid with no results. The cold hard fact is that scares me. The insurance we currently have will not pay for anything that even comes close to sounding like it might be for infertility. As it is the stuff they do pay for they only pay 70%. Which has left us currently with over $1,000 in medical bills to pay off.
I am a stay at home mom and he works a full-time job and a part-time job. We don't have much money. He's looking for something better and I am looking to make more money from working at home. So needless to say our insurance won't cover and we cannot afford any infertility treatments. Clomid without monitoring was all we could afford to do. Not even O'ing on my first cycle has freaked me out. That's what got me started thinking about trying birth control for a few months.
I had heard of some Docs putting women on bcps to help them get pregnant. It's thought by some that it helps to balance out your homormones and your first few cycles off birth control you might become pregnant easier.
So I decided to give it a shot. Go on bcp for a few months and lose some more weight. Of course weight often comes up when you are a woman with PCOS. Most of us are overweight women although there are thin cysters as well. I got pregnant with Savannah weighing between 215 and 220. So 215 is the weight I am shooting for between now and October. That would give me 4 months on bcp and a loss of 47 lbs. Then I plan to be pushy and ask to go back on Clomid right away.
Ok so I decided all of this and felt good about it. I went to see the nurse practioner. They never let me see my ObGyn anymore. All the Docs are always too busy to see me. So I am adding finding a better ObGyn practice to my list of things to do.
Anyway so I go and see her. My concerns were the constant coming and going of pelvic cramping I have been complaining about for 3 years now and the really fun addition of pain and cramping in my left ovary. I thought perhaps endometriosis might be the cause. She did an exam and told me it was all normal, it was probably just my hormones. She seemed very disapproving about me TTC and said I should be on birth control. That it would "calm everything down." She seemed even further disappointed that I had not lost any weight between the end of February and now.
Basically I felt she was implying that I was suffering because I was TTC and not being a "good girl" by going on birth control and losing weight. Which by the way she never suggested in our earlier visits when she diagnosed me with PCOS and referred me to an Endocrinologist. She knew then I was TTC and said that seeing the Endo would probably help me to become pregnant.
So of course I agreed to the birth control. She said she needs to see me again after I have been on the pills for about 4 months. She said I needed to be on birth control for at least 6 months. My plan however like I said before is to stay on them for 4 months, lose some weight and go back off them. I also am not currently planning to go back and see her. Either I am going to insist that I see my regular ObGyn or I am going to a new practice.
Ok so why does a part of me feel so bad now? Why is there a little voice inside me that says I really hoped she'd tell me going on bcp wasn't necessary. That she'd help me get pregnant........
I dunno. What I do know is I now have 2 free packs of Ovcon 35 and a prescription for an additional 2 months. I am back on Prometrium and as soon as my period starts I will also be starting the birth control. Starting that makes taking a break official.
Maybe it will be nice not to have to temp every morning, worry about my fertility signs or lack of fertility signs. To baby dance whenever we want instead of telling my Dh he has to wait because we just baby danced the night before. The lack of wondering if this month was the month or the crushing disappointment of another negative ovulation or pregnancy test.
Ok so we're taking a break..................
We talked about it. The nurse practioner suggested it before I could even bring it up. I know it's the right thing to do. Why do I suddenly feel so empty inside?
I'm coming off my first cycle with Clomid. I have read all the reports that you can't take Clomid for too long or it will start to actually make you even less fertile. I've seen the countless signatures of other ladies with PCOS who have been on round after round of Clomid with no results. The cold hard fact is that scares me. The insurance we currently have will not pay for anything that even comes close to sounding like it might be for infertility. As it is the stuff they do pay for they only pay 70%. Which has left us currently with over $1,000 in medical bills to pay off.
I am a stay at home mom and he works a full-time job and a part-time job. We don't have much money. He's looking for something better and I am looking to make more money from working at home. So needless to say our insurance won't cover and we cannot afford any infertility treatments. Clomid without monitoring was all we could afford to do. Not even O'ing on my first cycle has freaked me out. That's what got me started thinking about trying birth control for a few months.
I had heard of some Docs putting women on bcps to help them get pregnant. It's thought by some that it helps to balance out your homormones and your first few cycles off birth control you might become pregnant easier.
So I decided to give it a shot. Go on bcp for a few months and lose some more weight. Of course weight often comes up when you are a woman with PCOS. Most of us are overweight women although there are thin cysters as well. I got pregnant with Savannah weighing between 215 and 220. So 215 is the weight I am shooting for between now and October. That would give me 4 months on bcp and a loss of 47 lbs. Then I plan to be pushy and ask to go back on Clomid right away.
Ok so I decided all of this and felt good about it. I went to see the nurse practioner. They never let me see my ObGyn anymore. All the Docs are always too busy to see me. So I am adding finding a better ObGyn practice to my list of things to do.
Anyway so I go and see her. My concerns were the constant coming and going of pelvic cramping I have been complaining about for 3 years now and the really fun addition of pain and cramping in my left ovary. I thought perhaps endometriosis might be the cause. She did an exam and told me it was all normal, it was probably just my hormones. She seemed very disapproving about me TTC and said I should be on birth control. That it would "calm everything down." She seemed even further disappointed that I had not lost any weight between the end of February and now.
Basically I felt she was implying that I was suffering because I was TTC and not being a "good girl" by going on birth control and losing weight. Which by the way she never suggested in our earlier visits when she diagnosed me with PCOS and referred me to an Endocrinologist. She knew then I was TTC and said that seeing the Endo would probably help me to become pregnant.
So of course I agreed to the birth control. She said she needs to see me again after I have been on the pills for about 4 months. She said I needed to be on birth control for at least 6 months. My plan however like I said before is to stay on them for 4 months, lose some weight and go back off them. I also am not currently planning to go back and see her. Either I am going to insist that I see my regular ObGyn or I am going to a new practice.
Ok so why does a part of me feel so bad now? Why is there a little voice inside me that says I really hoped she'd tell me going on bcp wasn't necessary. That she'd help me get pregnant........
I dunno. What I do know is I now have 2 free packs of Ovcon 35 and a prescription for an additional 2 months. I am back on Prometrium and as soon as my period starts I will also be starting the birth control. Starting that makes taking a break official.
Maybe it will be nice not to have to temp every morning, worry about my fertility signs or lack of fertility signs. To baby dance whenever we want instead of telling my Dh he has to wait because we just baby danced the night before. The lack of wondering if this month was the month or the crushing disappointment of another negative ovulation or pregnancy test.
Ok so we're taking a break..................
posted by Stacie> |
11:18 AM
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