Impatiently waiting...

Last night I was supposed to take my supplemental Human Chorionic Gonaditropin (HCG) at 7PM as I always do. I searched my refrigerator high and low and it was nowhere to be found. I was freaking out looking all over my house for it with no avail. In a panic I call the Infertility doctor on call and he tells me that it is ok for me to be a day late. He asked that I call the clinic back in the morning to talk to the Medical Assistant. I called and spoke with the Medical Assistant and she said she would have the private Pharmacy I get all of my Infertility medication from to call me and we could work something out. I get a follow-up call from the Pharmacy minutes later and they say I can come and pick it up, but I choose to have it delivered as I live on the far West side of the major city I live in. I figured the $20 for the same day delivery charge would be fine considering the gas prices and the value of my time. I asked the Pharmacy to have my medication delivered to me by 1PM as I was in and out during the morning. One o'clock comes and goes and I finally call the Pharmacy around 3PM. I asked them when my medication would be delivered to me today, if I was even going to get it. At this point I was a bit paranoid, as I already felt guilty for not taking my medication last night and throwing away a nice chunk of change in my trashcan. I was told the courier has had several breakdowns today so there is one man doing deliveries. Oh wonderful! At this point my hands are tied as I am relying on this courier to expedite delivery when really I could have driven there 30 times to get my package. I complain to the Pharmacy saying I paid $20 to have this to me and it's not here. I essentially told them I wanted my money back for my trouble but was basically given the shaft. She said my medication would be in my office in 45 minutes. It was...

I get a call…. He was here, on the premises! In my building! What a sigh of relief. I go to the lobby area and before me stood a creepy man with brown paper bag. My first thought is DRUGS!!!! He’s holding what I hope can be the golden (really clear) fluid to help me maintain a baby hormonally if s/he is growing in there. I quickly sign his clipboard and rushed back to my office. What a sigh of relief.

Once I get back to my office, I quickly mix my HCG. I couldn’t do it fast enough. I took off the tops of the two vials, swabbed them with an alcohol pad and brought out my large syringe to mix the bacteriostatic water into the actual gonadotropin hormone powder. I shake gently and draw 25mcc’s to inject in my leg. I cap the syringe and walk briskly to the restroom. I walk into the stall, close the door and practically rip my pants off. At this point I feel like I was some sort of drug addict… Thankfully I am not. Unless you consider being addicted to hormones an addiction. I swab my upper leg/thigh area with an alcohol pad and wait for it to dry. I proceed to grab the fatty area whilst watching what I was doing. Grabbing the fatty area and trying to “stab” myself with a needle. After several attempts, I had to look away with my eyes closed and do it. To my surprise, I did it. But I did it with much trepidation. Come to see that I nearly stuck the syringe in my thumb. But I slowly pushed the medicine into my legs put gauze over it to catch what little blood showed and went about my normal daily activities.

I have learned from this experience that life goes by too quickly and I have taken for granted time. Time is of essence, but you need to finesse it otherwise it can work against you. You become counterproductive in your efforts. Take time out of your day to fully think through the things you do and the actions that you take, being absent minded for just a brief moment could be costly in more ways than money and cause much unneeded stress.